Renderotica

Originally Posted by: Chaosophia

Quote:

 The Horse plops down on it's butt looking every bit like a huge dog, head tilted, tongue out, big teeth, and eyes crossed.  "Dead Horse!" chants fill the hall as beer foam shoots high into the air!  Clowns emerge (there must always be clowns) confetti, multi-colored lights, and a fog machine clog the air as a BOOMING voice from ABOVE says: ... 

"It's Time... It's BOZO TIME!!!" Loud balloon farts plague the arena. I grab the Mic. "Cut the farts" The farts eventually stop as the Dead Horse is in the ring, looking on to the ramp. "I hate to cut the HoBo The Clown and Doink reunion short but"... From under the ring a blue balloon farts to the crowd in a bad Space X rocket launch trajectory. I look under the ring, but find nothing only to turn around to...

 

 

... silence.  Then a roar cuts through the farts only to be drowned out by theme music.  Oh no!  Not.. spotlights converge on the ramp, a shadow emerges, large.. ominous.. then a Siloette steps into the light and another and another.. and with unmistakable tone and legendary synchronicity, dozens of steins swing in unison as they march forward.. voices raised to the skies singing.. "Ding dong the horse is dead!"

Originally Posted by: Chaosophia

Slim Jim: "It's Those damn DWARVES!" Burger King retorts "Oh No, there'ss gonna be some Diggy Diggy Holes going on in just a moment."

As the Dwarves Gruff make their way to the ring, I enter the ring with Steel chair in hand daring them to enter the ring as they surround the ring. The Dead Horse who was leaned against the turn buckle flops over with tongue sticking out. The ref is starting to come to, slowly getting up not aware of the Dwarves. One dwarf tries to enter but I slap the ropes to make the disruption in action. As the ref comes to the Dwarves...

.. are in bikinis!  The big screens circling the arena light up with low grade, home made movies all about getting laid.  The ref's a stripper and the crowd a sea of belly's and boobs.  Wryly the dead horse turns and breaks the forth wall.. "horses, dwarves, 'n porn.. now that.." he pops a fat seee-gar between big old chompers.. "now that's a Par-tay!"

Having enough of the Dwarves Gone Wild bikini melt down I throw the chair just sailing past the top rope. I turn to deliver a cresent kick, but misjudge the Dwarves height, and sail the kick way over his head, but just enough to knock off his pointed hat. This enrages the Bikini Dwarf #4 and he runs up and kicks me in the shin. I hobble over to the rope as he starts a mad rage yelling contest. "How dare you knock off me cap." He goes for another attack but I dodge just in time out of the way. Dwarf #2 picks up the hat from the squared circle, and quickly tugs on Dwarf #1's bikini top. Dwarf #1 grabs a mike and yells for Dwarf #4 to stop. Dwarf #1 starts making fun of the hat. "This is a Gnome's hat, and busts a gut laughing. Dwarf #4 is furious, "Who replaced my hat with that piece of cr..."

Dwarf # 6 grabs the mic from Dwarf #1. Dwarf 4 leers at Dwarf #6. Dwarf 6 speaks. "Sparky, old friend I have a confession to make to you. Dwarf #4 Sparky, "You did it?" yelling. Dwarf #6 just looks, and bows his head down in shame. "No Sparky. I hate to tell you this now, but you are part Gnome." The crowd is in shock, more in shock than when...

Sparky "What the hell you mean?"

Dwarf #6 " Last winter, when I came around to visit ye mom in the Dwarven Diggy Hole. She confided in me a deep dark secret. That she made whoopy pie with a Gnome. Of course she only did it in the arse, but..."

Sparky "Why the hell does that matter Whoopy in the butt didn't make me."

Dwarf #6 " I am afraid you are wrong there Sparky. For you see you are a , how would you say this delicately... Aw Fuck It. Sparky you are a Butt Baby. And You're Daddy is a Gnome."

No longer than when Dwarf #6 lowers the mic, Sparky (Edge) spears him to the ground and gets on top striking as Dwarven, or Gnomish obscenities fly. The other Dwarves try to stop the fight, only to be pulled into it. A wrong tug of the beard, a snap of a bikini top, and it is Royal Rumble up in here. 

Edited by moderator Tuesday, July 21, 2026 1:15:03 AM(UTC)  | Reason: fixed image link ;)

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I trie that lik the other images before it didn't work like that for me. Might of done it wrong. I was trying other html, trying to get it to pop off.

Thanks for fixing I was coming back to try again.

And it is really funny cause writing this post and seeing Riding Academy to the side makes this even more funny.

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Well everyone always says nothing good can come about by beating a dead horse. I came here to prove otherwise.

Which usually ends in this meme.

Edited by user Tuesday, July 21, 2026 5:36:30 AM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

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