English....for the crappy English speaker.

[Demogorgon]

This is a post that can be useful for the one like me that are very bad at writing English.

The translator like reverso or bablefish are very limited.
So why not write here out "bubbles" and help each others ???

I begin with this one :
The bd will be using this character http://www.renderotica.com/modules/My_eGallery/gallery/General/Minkafan200809060800311.jpg

I’m Xi-Lung, the
Big Boobs Squad
Leader, guess why !
Now take this finger
and fight !!!

[ManOfSteel]

I think making English easier for others is always a good idea. Are you asking us to answer questions you might have?

[Demogorgon]

Hello man of steel (I like your pictures by the way, you make men as i make women very...exaggerated :partyhat: )

Well i asking people who don't speak English very well to post here there text so we can make our comics in English without to much grammar errors (for spelling firefox with the english plugin is good !)

I post this one :

"
I’m Xi-Lung, the
Big Boobs Squad
Leader, guess why !
Now take this finger
and fight !!! "

[ManOfSteel]

Ohhhh I see. First, thank you for the complement! Sometimes I see a sign in a restaurant that was written by someone who does not speak English well and the sign has a mistake on it. I often think, "It's too bad they didn't ask someone who speaks English well to check the sign for mistakes or for the right way to say something in English."

Is that what you mean?

For instance, there is an expression in English "right before your eyes", which means something is donein front of you where you can see it. But a restaurant in Japan had a sign that said the food was "cooked before your right eye" which sounds as though they planned to cook your right eye after they cooked the food.

I think your idea is a good one.

[ManOfSteel]

I’m Xi-Lung, the
Big Boobs Squad
Leader, guess why !
Now take this finger
and fight !!! "

Well...guess why ! would be a separate sentence, so it would be:

I'm Xi-Lung, the Big Boobs Squad Leader. Guess why! Now take this finger and fight!

And here are some common errors where people use the wrong word even though it sounds the same:

"Your" means that something belongs to you.
"You're" is a short way of writing "You are".
"Yore" is an old fashioned word that means a long time ago.

"There" can mean lots of things but usually means the opposite of "here" as in "That house over there."
"Their" means that something belongs to them.
"They're" is a short way of writing "They are."
So you could say, "That house over there is their house. They're not home right now."

"To" can mean lots of things but usually means the opposite of "from" as in "Let's go to the store."
"Too" means also.
"Two" means 2.
So you could say, "I'm going to the store to get two candy bars. Do you want to come too?"

[Hellboy]

Ohhhh I see. First, thank you for the complement! Sometimes I see a sign in a restaurant that was written by someone who does not speak English well and the sign has a mistake on it. I often think, "It's too bad they didn't ask someone who speaks English well to check the sign for mistakes or for the right way to say something in English."
:rofl:

The restaurant guys must be tired of running behind ppl begging to take a look at their signs!

Because it’s so DAMN hard to find someone willing to help!
In my case, when I translated my comic pages to English, I used to ask help to different persons and they either told me about one or two obvious ones while leaving other 3. Or, told me “Oh, it’s perfect as it is!” and didn’t knew it was not until I posted and ppl went to my neck saying how bad is written (without accepting to help)

I even asked for help with spelling in the forums at the old site as a last resource before abandoning the English version and only SC offered to help! If it weren’t for him, I’d be TOTALLY lost. Dunno, I’d be glad to help someone from English to Spanish!

So this is sure a helpful thread, I was sure it was not going to have any reply, but I'm glad to see MoS is also willing to give a little help with this! It's so unusual! Thanks!

:salut:

[Demogorgon]

Thanks a lot MoS ! And for your common errors tips ^^

"Sometimes I see a sign in a restaurant that was written by someone who does not speak English well and the sign has a mistake on it. I often think, "It's too bad they didn't ask someone who speaks English well to check the sign for mistakes or for the right way to say something in English"


Yep that was the idea.

Thanks again.

[Geramdrir]

that is a great idea!

i do not know if i can help as english is not my original language but i might help in translation from german of course and from french a bit and maybe correct this here and there ( iusually do this using PM not to embarrass somebody as i do not know if comments like this are always welcome)

i had thought about making this a social group for helping each other but did not dare yet as i thought everybody would tell me to look in a dictionary (which does not work with phrases)

my problem is that i am half educated in this so i think i know what i am saying and wonder why people suddenly attack me ;)
this is due to the fact that i usethe wrong word thinking it i the right one

as it is said in 'the last emperor'

" if you can't say what you mean you will never mean what you say"

@ hellboy and demogorgon: if you like i ofer to read through your text but can only correct as much as i know

BTW: great idea Demogorgon !!

[ManOfSteel]

It's nice to know there are other people willing to help too. But until someone posts some text here that needs to be looked at, here's another mistake people make, even native English speakers:

You'll hear people say, "I would of gone but I missed the bus and I would of been late. I know I should of called you."

The mistake is caused because the correct way sounds almost exactly the same. The word of is not correct. It should be have.

"I know I should have gone but I missed the bus and I would have been late. I know I should have called you."

Say both versions out loud. They sound almost exactly the same. But remember to use have.

[lopriest]

It's nice to know there are other people willing to help too. But until someone posts some text here that needs to be looked at, here's another mistake people make, even native English speakers:

You'll hear people say, "I would of gone but I missed the bus and I would of been late. I know I should of called you."

The mistake is caused because the correct way sounds almost exactly the same. The word of is not correct. It should be have.

"I know I should have gone but I missed the bus and I would have been late. I know I should have called you."

Say both versions out loud. They sound almost exactly the same. But remember to use have.

Actually, that's more of a regional thing. A lot of english speakers do not make that mistake because it does not sound the same where they are from. Besides, here on the west coast we know how to say it correctly:
" I know I shoulda gone but I missed the bus and I woulda been late. I know I shoulda called you."
:grin:

[El Cid]

You'll hear people say, "I would of gone but I missed the bus and I would of been late. I know I should of called you."

The mistake is caused because the correct way sounds almost exactly the same. The word of is not correct. It should be have.

"I know I should have gone but I missed the bus and I would have been late. I know I should have called you."

Say both versions out loud. They sound almost exactly the same. But remember to use have.

When people use "of" in that context, I suspect they're actually using an abbreviated "have," so I tend to write it out as a colloquial "I know I should've gone but I missed the bus and I would've been late. I know I should've called you." Not exactly "proper," but I tend to write the way people talk.

[El Cid]

Regarding the main topic of the thread, I think in general rather than posting text for the community at large to pick over in an open forum, it's better to find one person with impeccable grammar and just get him to edit your dialogue for you before you add it to your finished work. That way your writing's consistency will not suffer, and you can even credit someone as an editor somewhere in the credits, which makes your project seem that much more professional.

[bobsyeruncle]

It may take a whole community to figure out where Demogorgon was going with this one:

I’m Xi-Lung, the
Big Boobs Squad
Leader, guess why !
Now take this finger
and fight !!!

I'm keeping my fingers to myself. You're just going to have to find something else to fight with. :scratch:

[ManOfSteel]

When people use "of" in that context, I suspect they're actually using an abbreviated "have," so I tend to write it out as a colloquial "I know I should've gone but I missed the bus and I would've been late. I know I should've called you." Not exactly "proper," but I tend to write the way people talk.

Yes, but when people write of, they're actually using of, aren't they? "Should've" sounds like "of" but written, it's the proper "have". As far as writing stylistically to mimic the way people sound, I'm not gonna argue with that 'cuz I do it all the time. But like many things, it's when one does it consciously for the sake of style that differentiates it from ignorance, and by "ignorance" I simply mean not knowing something. No mean-spiritied connotations of stupidity are implied.

As far as knowing what Demogorgon meant with his submitted text, I was taking a chance. I have no idea what it means, so my suggestion could be wrong.

[Demogorgon]

...it's better to find one person with impeccable grammar and just get him to edit your dialogue for you before you add it to your finished work. That way your writing's consistency will not suffer, and you can even credit someone as an editor somewhere in the credits, which makes your project seem that much more professional.

Yep i agree, but i don t know a lot of people who speak a perfect English, or i don't want to show them my erotic work (hey sis, could you look at my pictures ? )
And it's not a "pro" project, i will post the Comic in Renderotica.

Like Hellboy said it's so damn hard to find someone willing to help so i think a thread like this one can help some of us who speak some alien languages like French or Spanish (or worst, Canadian :angel4: )
MoS give some pretty good tips already.

It may take a whole community to figure out where Demogorgon was going with this one:

Yep that's why i post a link to the picture of the character in the first post.

[bobsyeruncle]

D'oh! I clicked on the link and Renderotica popped up a warning about hot linking -- which apparently is not ok even from the "other Renderotica". :(

[Geramdrir]

same result for me of course...

i do think that a thread or a social group is appropriate as there are more willing people and i think everybody might find a bit to improve

when i write stories the idea flies away with me (also a sentence probably not very english) and i rush writing
in this case the result is full of mistakes and i am sure it does not say what i wanted tobut if i look for every phrase it cuts the process of making the story...

it would be great to be bale to post a link where people wanting to help just read the story or descriptionand give their comments
as in the social group 'rate my picture'

[El Cid]

That's one way to do it I guess, to each his own. Personally if I were trying to do a Spanish translation of one of my comics, I wouldn't post the script in a thread and let a committee pick it apart. The end result would probably be grammatically correct, but it would not have a consistent tone to it. It would read like, well, like it was written by a committee. Parts would be dry and technical, while other parts would be laden with slang and black humor. Characters' speech patterns would shift from frame to frame. And of course, since I don't speak Spanish, I wouldn't even notice. But that's just me; it seems to be working for you so best of luck! :)

[Hellboy]

:rofl:

BTW, I find so fun that there is not a single comic in English with Spanish dialogues I have ever read that are well written!! And I mean huge companies like Marvel and DC. Not a single one!! (I even remember Marvel referring to Fantastic Four as “El Quatro Fantastico” (lol) instead of “Los Cuatro Fantásticos”.) Not a single word balloon well written, They have even go as far as to write the thing in English and then just translate word by word with a dictionary without paying any attention to context or word order! Of course the thing is less readable for Spanish readers than if they just leaved the thing in english! (I swear I have read more understandable things in Portuguese!) :study::5help:

I mean, even thought I’m just a regular guy, my spelling errors are not THAT bad and I know my crap will be read only by 3 or 4 guys, I really make an effort to have it well written (Thanks SC) ‘cause ppl will tell me how bad it is! :5paperbag:

Ya can’t put an extra “l” on a sign or a silly fanart comic, or whatever ‘cause ppl notice it... But those big millionaire companies can threw their mainstream comics, videogames or big budget movies to the world with the most catastrophic Spanish EVER without even blushing!! Go figure!! LOL!!!

As the guy from the Simpsons in the bee costume would say: "El mundo es loco!"* :laughing9:

*Which btw, makes more sense as "¡El mundo está loco!"

[bobsyeruncle]

I begin with this one :
The bd will be using this character:
http://www.renderotica.com/modules/My_eGallery/gallery/General/Minkafan200809060800311.jpg

I’m Xi-Lung, the
Big Boobs Squad
Leader, guess why !
Now take this finger
and fight !!!

Regarding the original post: I've got nothing. :(

It wants to be rephrased, but I keep thinking of the "A-Team" meme all over YouTube, ex: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyfhzqhJNbg

Ten years ago, In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These women promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The Big Boob Squad.

Starring Pamela Anderson as Jane "Cannonballs" Smith
Scarlett Johansson as Temple "Funbags" Stack
Britney Spears as H.M. "Howling Mad" Mamanitrix
and Brigitte Nielsen as B.A. Bigrackus

+++
Hmm... back to the drawing board ...

[Geramdrir]

@ el cid: you are right with that -- i also would not do that in a language i do not understand -- but reading a foreign language is easier than expressing oneself in it

so with my crappy english i can write in the forum somehow but with a text in comic or a story i will miss the point and often i will not express my thoughts very well -- no skilled writing

but i could try to express and if somebody knowing the language corrects it i will be able to understand as much as to know if it expresses my thoughts

at the moment somebody from this forum is writing a better story round my pictures and he is using a fine language i cannot in english but as he sends it to me i can understand if it means what i want to say and i have to admit that the phrases he uses are much better than the simplified english i can write...

[bobsyeruncle]

Ok, how about:


No asshole dare take me on, or my Big Boob Squad! So say I, Xi-Lung. So it shall be done!

[Demogorgon]

Very good bobsyeruncle !!!

I think a lot about what have been said.

I can't write a comic in English or it will be childish (at best !!) so i will post it in French, with a quick English translation as comments.

[bobsyeruncle]

Cool! Whatever works for you.

*tries to remember old high school french*

I suppose if you're telling the story of an animated pen belonging to a close relative who is:
a. always getting lost ("Où est la plume de ma tante?"), and
b. forever trying to get the time from his sweetheart ("Qu'elle heure est-il, ma petite chou?"),

then I might even be able to follow along. :oops:

[lopriest]

If it helps, I can translate French to English...

Si vous voulez, je peut traduire le Francais en Anglais..

Let me know if you need me to / Laissez moi savoir si vous voulez mon aide.

Thanks / merci.

:icon_smile:

[Geramdrir]

This conversation is very nice and shows the strength of communities :eusa_dance:

so if i can be of any help i would like to participate...
je ne peux pas ecrire un texte en francais mais peut etre traduire un peu en anglais aussi..

the funniest thing i did so far was in a train where a dutch boy met a portugese girl -- he spoke crappy english and she crappy french as both not their primary language-- they wanted to come closertogehther and i was the only one to translate words of beginning addicition between english and french which are both not my primary ones...
luckily they only needed a start as the rest proceeded without words :laughing7:

[Geramdrir]

do not reply to myself usually but if anyone is still interested in this topic i created a user group 'Ministery of Speech' for all questions on correct translations, correcting 'crappy english' and also improving the language in general (if someone likes to)

i loved that in my mother tongue also as there are always people that are better with knowledge on language than i am

[IDdelFato]

Hola,

So, I'm making a little comic (around 5 pages) , the second chapter of PeeLady's story...( http://beta.renderotica.com/gallery/showimage.php?i=19239&catid=member&imageuser=32041 ),
with my poor English I need someone to correct my text, and the "little more", I'm not use to write dialogues, so feel free to change the dialogues?:santa::new_sleeping::scratch:

The "story": a man go to toilet, we assume action take place in some kind of restaurant... and there a "pee lady" take care of him, unzip him, put his dick out, hold it while he's urinating (thanks to my dictionary ).
During all this they talks:

Lady - Good evening sire
Man - Good evening
L - this way please

(they enter toilet)

L - Have you a good ????/evening/diner/????

M - yes thanks...the food is quite good (???)

L-It's the first time you come here ?

M- Yes, a good friend told me about this this place and he's right, it's a nice place and I appreciate the quality of the service

L- thank you sire, today people have forgotten what could be a decent service, they do all by themselves.

M- How wrong they are

L-Ha, have you finish ?

M- I think so

L-and the last drop

she do what she has to do

L- (Voila monsieur)??? here we are ???

they go out, he give a coin to the peelady

M-thanks mademoiselle

L- good by sire


End


Well...,thx in advance for helping me:partyhat::partyhat::partyhat:

[Geramdrir]

bon soir

je ne suis très bien en anglais mais je vais essayer. tu peux prendre ce que te plait

une question: C'est un restaurant français? c'était quelque chose que je voudrais bien faire comme ça. J'aime la cuisine français et toute le monde pnse que c'est quelque chose extraordinaire
alors C'est une possibilité pour une Famme de toilette
et encore une raison pour prendre des mots en français (monsieur..)

ok, now in english:

L: Good Evening Sir

M: Good Eveneing

L: This Way please, would You kindly follow me

they enter the toilet

L: I hope You had an interesting evening and the dinner served met Your expectations

M: Thank You, it was fine as i expected

L: Is it the first time You have been here or did You visit our restaurant before

M: It is the first time i am here but a good friend told me about this place. I am pleased he was right: It is a nice play to spend an evening and i appreciate the quality of the service

L: Thank You Sir. It is a pleasure for e to hear words like these. Today People have totally forgotten how pleasant it can be to get a service by a well educated servant. It is that Self Service idea spread around the globe - they think they have to do all themselves.

M: How wrong they are. If they would just give it a try they would well see the big difference

L: Sorry to interrupt: have You finished

M: I think so, could You take a look

L: … and the last drop

she fulfills her duty

L: here we are: Everything well and proper again

They walk out and he hands her a coin

M: Thanks for the well executed service - i will recommend You

L: Good bye Sir, thank You Sir, and have a nice evening


Anglais n'est pas mon premier langue alors peut être quelqu'un peut lire ça??
English is not my premier language so maybe someone could thumb it through for mistakes

[IDdelFato]

Un grand merci Geramdrir , ca fait tout de suite plus sérieux :) et les deux répliques :
"M: I think so, could You take a look"
et
"Everything well and proper again"
collent super bien :)
It's a good idea to make it a french restaurant, it bring a bigger decor for more stories, it was a little stop with the only toilets...
So, coming soon PeeLady Chapter 2: a service of quality !
and I put "Dialogues by Geramdrir" :)

[Geramdrir]

You are very welcome

Its still Your dialogue, just gave my 2 cents

i love to do that if my fantasy is kicked - so its great for me as long as long as you are not offended by me raiding your idea nad story :grin:

[bobsyeruncle]

I'm not sure what to say about "PeeLady". An appropriate name (or euphemism) escapes me. But, here's my attempt at your dialogue:

He enters the restroom and is greeted by a well-dressed woman in formal attire.

Lady: Good evening, sir. Are you enjoying your meal?
Man: Good evening. And, yes, the food is exquisite, thank you.
Lady: This way, sir.

She places her hand on his back and gently leads him to a urinal. She deftly snaps on a pair of gloves, loosens his belt, unbuttons his trousers and unzips him. She pulls his shirt out a bit, pushes his underwear down part way and pulls out the gentleman's penis.

Her hands are warm and the gloves feel silky on his penis. He feels a bit of a lazy-on coming on. She smiles discreetly and moves her other hand to his buttocks to help her guide him. A moment's hesitation and then the man works up a big stream. She watches the flow and adjusts accordingly to avoid splashing. Her warm touch and the uninhibited release of urine are a little giddying.

Lady: Have you been here before?
Man: Yes, a good friend told me about this this place and he's right, it's a nice place and I appreciate the service.
Lady: Thank you, sir. I think people today have forgotten about the pleasures of a gentleman's service.
Man: Yes, manners are a bit of a lost art these days, I'm afraid.
Lady: Are you done?

As the man nods, the woman deftly shakes his penis a few times and tucks him back in his pants. She spritzes him with a warm, sweet-smelling, but subtle powder. She carefully readjusts his underwear and zips him back up. She disposes of her gloves, then tucks in his shirt smartly and adjusts his belt. She then guides him gently to the door.

Man: Thank you, Miss.

He then hands her a $20 bill.

Lady: Thank you and good day to you, sir.

+++

The scene suggested formal vs. sensous or erotic. But, if you wanted to convey a different mood, I could have another go.

[bobsyeruncle]

Um, I just ignored the dialogue this time and came up with this:

+++

She placed her hand on his back and led him to the urinal. She loosened his belt, unzipped him and lowered his pants. Snapping on her gloves, she then rubbed her hands to warm them up. She pulled out his penis.

Her other hand went to the small of his back and crossed it a few times to let him know she intended to advance to his buttocks. Her grip on his rear end was firm, but reassuring.

With penis in hand, she used thumb and forefinger to casually stroke it. The gloves were lightly powdered and her caresses slid up and down his shaft as smoothly as silk. Her remaining fingers cupped his testicles. She continued gently stroking and coaxing.

His genitals obliged, engorging themselves to give her more to work with. He was halfway hard before she continued. She smiled discreetly as she left his testicles to concentrate on his penis. Her other hand on his buttocks, she manouevered him over the urinal. She waited briefly for the big stream to come.

She carefully monitored the ebb and flow of his emission to avoid splashing. Her attentions caused his mind to drift. His thoughts were awash with the sensations of her warm hands on penis and buttocks and his uninhibited release of urine. He willed himself to coax every last drop from his bladder, prolonging the session. He imagined filling the basin to capacity, happy for the feeling of relief.

Satisfied that he was done, she deftly shook his penis a few times before tucking him back in. Her gloves were now spent and carefully discarded. Straightening up his clothes, she led him to the door. He handed her a twenty and thanked her for her services. Outside the door, he was oblivious to the din as he attempted to navigate back to his table.

[IDdelFato]

Thx for your help Bobsyeruncle :) I've already made the first 3 pages with almost all the dialogues...but your description:
tucks him back in his pants. She spritzes him with a warm, sweet-smelling, but subtle powder. She carefully readjusts his underwear and zips him back up. She disposes of her gloves, then tucks in his shirt smartly and adjusts his belt is good, I call the chapter "a service of quality" but I didn't made step of "the service" like this...i'll correct that :)

[bobsyeruncle]

I thought maybe I had obsessed with the minutia of the service in the first take. So I focused more on the "good stuff" in the second version.

But, cool, whatever works for you. :)